


at this moment, you mean everything

by stefonzolesky



Series: how to fall in love [1]
Category: Ghostbusters (Movies 1984-1989)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 23:44:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18271502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: this stands on its own but if enough people want me to i might expand it into a series!





	at this moment, you mean everything

Ray likes to think that life works in mysterious ways. 

He props his legs up on the table at Peter's place, laying back in a chair and struggling to keep his eyes open until Peter brings him a cup of coffee. He sighs and lights a cigarette, sticking the end in his mouth.

“You haven't come to work lately, Venkman,” Ray tells him when he comes back with the coffee.

Peter shrugs. “I thought you'd call me if anything happened. Has anything happened?”

Ray frowns. “No.”

“And how's Egon?”

“Fine.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You seen Winston?”

“Yeah.”

Ray nods and takes his cigarette out of his mouth so he can drink his coffee. “And you're fine?”

“Yeah, I'm fine.” Venkman glances at the bedroom where Ray can only assume Dana is asleep. “Better than ever.”

Ray presses his lips into a thin line and then says, “Hey, Venkman?”

“Hm?”

“Mind if I ask you a sad question?”

“Yeah, I mind.”

“Sad for me. Not you.”

Peter thinks on it for a second, and decides, “Yeah, okay.” Naturally.

Ray frowns. “What's it like being with someone you really love? I mean, you've got Dana…”

“Oh, man!” Peter laughs. “Don't worry, pal, we'll get you laid someday.”

Ray scowls. “I've _ fucked _ , Pete. I have.”

“Sure you have.”

“I have! I've had girlfriends and everything. But I don't think I've ever looked at anyone like you look at Dana.”

Peter rolls his eyes. “Please. We've all seen how you get with Spengler.”

Ray blinks. “What?”

“Nevermind.” Peter laughs. “Why, you having a crisis or something?”

“I'm almost forty,” Ray says. “I haven't dated anyone in over ten years.”

“You want me to take you to a club?”

“What?” Ray shakes his head. “No. Pete, seriously --”

“Seriously,” Peter interrupts. “I think you should reconsider your relationship with Dr. Specs, PhD.”

Ray frowns. “Egon is my friend.”

Peter nods. “And how do you feel about him?”

“He's my  _ friend, _ ” Ray reiterates.

Peter considers this for a second. Ray doesn't know why, because he's telling the truth. But Peter is dangerously, uncharacteristically quiet.

Then, he lunges forward and grabs Ray by the ears.

“Venkman!” Ray yelps. “Let go--  _ OW! _ LET  _ GO!” _

“Tell me about Spengler, huh?”

“What about Spengler -- let  _ GO _ , PETE!” He wrestles against Peter’s grip, but Peter just pinches his ears tighter.

“How… do you  _ feel _ … about  _ Egon,  _ Ray?”

“I LOVE HIM!” Ray blurts.

Peter lets go.

“It’s about time,” He says.

Ray shuts his eyes tightly and brings his hands to his ears, rubbing them in hopes that it will make them stop hurting. “You’re a dick.”

“You love Egon.”

“I know.”

And Ray really hopes that Peter feels bad for making him admit that, because it’s what he deserves. He probably doesn’t feel bad, though, because Peter Venkman isn’t capable of feeling guilt.

“You’re an asshole,” Ray tells him.

Peter shrugs. “I know.”

 

+

 

It’s not unusual that Ray and Egon would spend long nights at the Ghostbusters headquarters once they opened back up. 

Ray hired a girl to cover for him at his bookstore, a place that Egon had grown fond of in the years since it had been opened, since they’d be spending less time there. It had been a while since Egon had seen his friend this excited. Riding on past Ghostbusters fame just wasn’t doing it for him anymore.

The novelty wears off sooner than either of them would like.

“You wanna go get dinner?” Egon asks, even though he isn’t hungry. Ray shakes his head, nose almost touching the book he's studying.

“Busy,” is all Ray can manage. He looks tired, and he’s still wearing his pajamas from the night before.

“I’ll pick you up something,” Egon tells him anyway, shoulders slumping at his failed attempt to get Ray out of the building. They hadn’t gotten a legitimate call in at least a month, but that wasn’t stopping Ray.

“We should call someone to fix the air conditioning.”

“Let Venkman worry about it.”

“If we leave it up to him, nothing will happen.”

Egon considers that. Ray definitely has a point.

“Chinese?”

“Sure.”

And Egon can definitely tell that something is off, just because of Ray being… the way that he is. He usually suggests two or three other options when they talk about dinner. He also usually remembers to shower and get dressed.

When he gets back, Ray is passed out against the table, snoring softly. Egon sighs and sets the takeout box on a counter. Ray is too big for him to carry to bed, Egon doesn’t have enough strength in his arms for that, so he lifts his friend’s head to slide a pillow under it and drapes a blanket over his shoulders. 

Egon works his life away, but he thinks Ray might work himself to death.

Egon decides to sit outside and read for a little bit. He picked up a book from Ray's store a few days earlier, he just hasn't gotten a chance to look at it until now. So, he sits outside and enjoys the cool air and finishes the book.

And when he gets inside, Ray is still asleep on the table. He sighs and trudges off to his bed. He thinks he'll have to get used to this.

 

+

  
  


Ray wakes up with a pillow under his head and a hot cup of coffee next to him. There’s room temperature Chinese food across the counter, next to where Egon quietly sips his own coffee, face buried in a textbook. 

Ray rubs the sleep from his eyes and asks, “You gonna go back to teaching?”

Egon blinks. He turns a page in his textbook. “No. How’d you sleep?”

“Fine,” Ray says. He sits up straight and winces. “My back’s not feeling so hot right now.”

“That’s what happens when you fall asleep on the counter.”

Ray nods. “Yeah, I probably deserve that. You talk to Venkman lately?”

Egon turns another page in his book. “No.”

Ray breathes out a sigh of relief. When Peter Venkman gets to Egon, he’s fucked and he knows it.

“Peter lacks the part of his brain that tells him when to keep his mouth shut.”

“He does,” Egon agrees.

Ray tenses up. “Apparently, so do I. Did I just say that out loud?”

“Yeah. What’d you tell him that he could blab about?”

“Nothing. I mean, not anything,” Ray lies. “Just a lot of nothing. He pulled my ears. It was nothing.”

“Naturally.” Egon finally looks up from his book. “Are you going to tell me?”

“No,” Ray says decidedly.

Egon nods, and that’s that.

 

+

 

Egon’s natural state is curious. So, when he finds out that Ray is keeping something from him, he seeks out Peter Venkman.

Not immediately. He tries to talk himself out of it, because it’s something that Ray doesn’t want him to know, and Ray is his best friend, so the guilt will catch up to him. Because, unlike Peter, Egon has the ability to feel guilty for acting like an asshole.

The fact that Peter isn’t enough of an asshole to tell Egon what’s going on just makes his curiosity grow.

“You should ask him,” Peter says, kicking back in his chair and letting it rock on two legs. “I think he’d tell you, if you asked.”

“I did ask,” Egon insists. “He said he wasn’t going to tell me.”

Peter nods slowly. “Right. Well, I’m not going to tell you.”

“You’d rather fuck me over than fuck Ray over?”

“Any day, man. Any day.”

Egon scoffs. “Okay. Fine. Suit yourself.” He sits up a little straighter. “I’ll speak with Ray.”

Peter nods with that idiotic ‘I know something you don’t know’ look in his eyes. Egon thinks that if he doesn’t get out of the apartment right this second, he might end up strangling Venkman.

“I’m out,” He says, and he doesn’t let Peter get another word in because he doesn’t think he deserves it.

 

+

 

Ray is in the middle of a bite of reheated Chinese food when Egon gets back to the firehouse. 

“Can I talk to you?” He asks.

Ray nods and wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. “Where did you go?”

“Venkman’s.”

Ray feels his chest start to close up. “Yeah?” He says, because he doesn’t trust his voice not to crack on a word more than one syllable long.

“Yes. He didn’t tell me anything.”

Ray nods. He stares at the table in front of him. Egon must realize that Ray isn’t going to say anything, so he continues.

“If Peter isn’t shouting a secret from the mountaintops, it must be a big deal. Are you okay?”

“Fine,” Ray lies. “It really isn’t a big deal.”

Egon hesitates. “If something is wrong…” He reaches across the table and puts his hand on Ray’s arm. “You know you can talk to me, alright?”

Ray’s mouth betrays him. He looks up at Egon and says, “I’m in love with you.”

It takes a second to really hit. Ray sees the words sink into the back of Egon’s mind, watches his eyes soften, feels him pull his hand away lightly. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Oh.”

“Shit,” Ray swears. “Sorry, Spengs, I didn’t…”

Egon clears his throat. “No, yeah. Yeah. Peter didn’t…”

“He didn’t tell you.”

“He didn’t. And you didn’t have to.”

“I didn’t.”

They stare at each other silently for way too long. Ray feels like he’s going to collapse any second.

Then, Egon laughs his stupid, low laugh. His eyes crinkle up at the corners and Ray knows he’s fucked.

“What’s so funny, huh?” He can’t help but ask, trying to ignore the sick feeling boiling in his stomach. “What are you laughing about?”

Egon covers his mouth with his hand to stifle his laughter.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Ray complains, but he finds himself smiling despite the dreadful knots in his chest. “That’s not fair.”

“That’s sweet,” Egon finally says. He sets his glasses down on the table in front of him and wipes a few tears from his eyes. “That’s sweet, Stantz, really.”

Ray feels his heart drop. “Oh. So, you don’t --”

“I mean, I’ve never seen you like this,” Egon continues, sliding his glasses back on his face. “You look like you’re about to drop any second.”

“I feel like it, too,” Ray mutters. “You can just forget I said anything, you know, because I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t think I was going to say anything, but then Peter pulled my ears, so it was on my mind, and then you put your hand on my arm and I just thought that maybe --”

“Ray,” Egon interrupts. “Calm down, you’re getting too worked up.”

“Calm down?” Ray laughs uncomfortably. “You want me to calm down? I am calm! I’m perfectly calm, for the situation, I think. I think that I’m allowed to be worked up right now. But I’m not. Because I’m calm. Because it doesn’t matter, because you --”

Among all the worry and the stress and the guilt about feeling like this in the first place, Ray almost doesn’t notice Egon sitting forward, propping himself up on the table and leaning across to look into Ray’s eyes.

“You have nice eyes,” Egon says, clearly not listening to Ray’s mindless rambling at this point.

Ray swallows his words. “You think?”

“Yeah.” Egon nods. He blinks. “How is it that I never noticed they’re two different colors?”

Egon’s breath is warm and smells like coffee.

“Spengs…” Ray gives a tight, uncomfortable laugh. “Spengler, what are you doing? I get it if you feel bad for me, you know. I understand it. But you don’t have to do anything because none of this is your fault, it’s just me being stupid. It’s just --”

“Ray, my arms are getting tired,” Egon interrupts. “Are you going to kiss me? Or can I sit down?”

Ray takes a shallow breath and then presses his lips against Egon’s, letting his eyes flutter shut. The kiss doesn’t last very long, but Ray decides that if he could live in one moment forever, this would be it.

Egon is the first to pull away. He puts his forehead against Ray’s and says, “We can’t tell Venkman.”

Ray smiles, eyes darting across Egon’s face.

“Absolutely not,” He agrees.

**Author's Note:**

> this stands on its own but if enough people want me to i might expand it into a series!


End file.
